From the darkest of alleys

The time span from may'14 to dec'15 will always be a duration of huge topsy turvy in my life, from finding it hard to look in the mirror to cloud nine . Journey to Delhi was not a planned decision but an escape from  parents and their questions such as "what I will do now, why don't I try for TCS"?. My college, one of the best among NITs had left me "educated unemployed". My only hope was an interview with H.S.C.C, which also shattered on the way to Delhi when I got a call from a friend that only one person was selected. So there I was in Delhi with all my books and some friends from college. With so much self talking when alone I felt uneasy and   company of these known people kept me going. 

Delhi was also not easy on me. Guys there ate,slept and shit study, all of this with an aim to hit the bulls eye. But I was tired/demotivated/ashamed and it needed more than a mere motivation to change my fate. You see motivation doesn't give you rank. Sometimes even highly motivated, highly trained one loses the race because it all boils down  to what you actually did at the performing moment, a little mistake and you are out of race and I did not have a second chance because worse than one year unemployed is two year unemployed.

Someone aptly said "when I had nothing I found myself".

  And then the following incidents happened between today and that day :-

                                                                     Incident one
A company named WAPCOS  called candidates on the Gate rank basis and called till 4000. I had an below average rank of ~1900 in college but I got a call. The procedure was to give  half an hour written test and then GD for selection. I thought if I cleared written then job was easily done because I believed I was pretty good at GD's. But I was jinxed,
I was out in the first round. Sometimes I can't figure out till now, why ? By my estimate I fared good.This hit me very hard, I went to my room and broke down, until my friends came in the evening.

Lesson-This was the last nail on my confidence.

                                                                     Incident two

I was with friends partying late night, even Mithlesh,Sachin and Sunil had come.I had a test  on Steel next afternoon after normal lectures at Madeeasy. But Sunil said "God knows when we will enjoy like this again" and I really thought my situation was already worst nothing could go wrong from here and stayed. That day taught me a lesson that life is all about struggles one after another but don't miss a moment to be happy for that. Next day I gave the test anyhow half asleep. After five days when the result came Utkarsh teased me "abbe Saale raat bhar padhta hai aur bolta hai party kar raha tha",I didn't get him at that moment.But got hit point when I saw results, I had got 4th rank and after that I maintained that. Last best was 67 when I prepared well.

Lesson- I just needed to remain calm in exam and with less expectations.

                                                               Incident three

This was an incident which took place on the day of Gate exam. My exam was in afternoon and I had planned to leave my flat at around 11:30 am.But I had some unwanted guests at my flat.Rahul,Vikas,Nithesh,Neeraj and Nishant came to my flat all halla ho ! This was the only thing needed  to screw my exam. I sat in the next room trying not to listen to their discussion on how Nandana sen looked in Rangrasiya or how a man ate a living frog. So I left at round 10 am. On the way to exam center my serious mood was all fussy. Just half an hour before exam Kirti called and said "sun exam is going to be tough, manage to attempt 75% and immediately leave question if you don't know. First, the room incident then this, perfect icing on the cake, paper was hard."This is my hundred percent, I couldn't have done more so just be over with exam,
 I can't control result, 
Hope for the best", these were going though my mind continuously throughout my exam.

Lesson- I can't thank these guys anymore, they eased me, my exam pressure vanished all because of these people.

                                                             Incident Four

I had my ESE interview after two days. I had took non pay leave from HPCL and came back to Delhi. I didn't go to IIT and was staying in some small hotel for preparation before exam . And again, suddenly I ran out of luck. One of my atm card stopped working and other had no amount in. I decided not to bother my parents and went to different Atms around Old Delhi railway station to try my luck but in vain (actually there was an issue with KYC), that evening was wasted . Next day Papa credited other atm card. I thought the trouble was over but alas ! Night before interview at 12.30 am I got a call from a faculty of Madeeasy who suggested not to tell in front of panel that I had switched from NBCC to HPCL or my whole interview will circle around it but had well prepared about why I joined HPCL and left NBCC so quickly and I knew if I said that I am still working in N.B.C.C then I couldn't be able to answer the questions because project there was a specialized job. So in simple works I was already screwed either way.  Whatever, I took my pen and re-chalked my D.A.F (detailed application form) till around 1:30 am. The interview was below expectation because questions were all practical and some related to N.B.C.C profile which I already  knew was coming and I didn't give by book answers of which I was confident of but all by concepts and reasoning. I came out of interview all low and called papa and said "Interview was bad,no chance", he said "okay beta,its huge that you could make it till there, prepare for Civils (UPSC) you will definitely do better". I got 118/200 in interview and highest was 150 so that was a good score.

Lesson- Ironically I performed best in the interviews I thought I screwed . NBCC, HPCL, ESE.

I would also like to share some of the mother of coincidences that happens during this phase

  • First mid-semester at IIT was  starting from day after tomorrow.And I was reading PPT of FEM on my laptop.I said to Anil that I couldn't do it, it was really  very tough and eventually I might get a PSU and leave, so why bother.You can say my luck was very strong during those 6 months, I opened my mail to download another slide from Google+ and saw "OFFER LETTER", for a second I thought it was a spam from which was more certain but it was from NBCC !!.
  • One day I was on strolling through Facebook and papa came and asked beta how will you go to Delhi and prepare for ESE interview when NBCC won't give you a  leave".I said I don't know and turned towards laptop screen scrolling up-down gmail just to ignore him but he would not stop."Beta what about that HPCL interview there might be a chance too".I was frustrated now and said why ponder over uncertainty and again turned towards laptop.But wait a minute,"HPCL SAMAWESH welcomes you",I had a new mail. I didn't even open the mail just said "hogya papa" and ran to tell mom and call friends.
  • I was in IIT preparing at madeeasy for interview.One day nanaji called and said don't give your resignation to NBCC till place of posting of HPCL is confirmed, it might come in next few days so wait. I went to my room checked my mail and voila!
  • On the day of ESE results, I couldn't dare to check results because I thought if selected I will definitely be a border case. At 6.30 pm Madhu asked "sourav aaj to IES ka result hai na", but within ten minutes got a call from Vividh. Let me tell you something about Vividh's call timings, he calls when he has checked the results himself and I find him very lucky.He had called me on three result occasions and all were positive ( GATE, IIT D, IES ). I picked up the call and he gave me the news that I had secured 50 rank and believe me and I just started dancing there.
  • Shekhar called one day and asked about medical's schedule and as you rightly  guessed, I checked the mail after half an hour and boom !! it was there.
In the end I would also like to add a friend's words  which really helped me sail through 4th year-

Nitish Kukreti .. ( when I failed to convert companies in college )

" bhai  don't take tension something big is waiting for you". At that time I thought he was just quoting some filmy dialogue but when I look back now, if by chance I was selected in those diminutive companies, I could have never tested  my limits.


  1. Inspirational!Sometimes failure teaches us best lesson and guides us in the right direction.We just need to have faith in us. And You are one on the examples. And I have met a different Saurov.Bravo Dude!

    1. Thanks a lot bhai. It means a lot to me. Delhi was not an easy place and you people made life a lot easier.

  2. Darr sabko lagta h, gala sabka sukhta h..Mountain Dew. Jiyo jee bhar ke.

  3. Saale wo steel ke exam se pehle ki raat 4 baje tak road pe masti uff. Abhi bhi yaad hai.


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