deceptive life


Its really amazing to notice that how we adapt according to the flow time, atleast in my case these 20 yrs have made me realise that things are changing and so do I. when I look back it appears that as if I had started this journey yesterday.Though they are now memories but it feels like living back in those memories is more easy-soothing,than waiting for an unpredictable future and an unstable present.That mummy’s Sonu has somewhere disappeared into this SOURAV . Things turned so much upside down that even the mirror seems to be biased and me deceptive,but I do realise the presence of that meek Sonu inside under the rough mask of deception when I face drastic situations. I try to connect both of them to a link so as make the present “me” realize that its coming from the one at the other end of chain but  the links which I am using is made of all those “smiles and tears”..and surprisingly their reasons have all changed a lot. I remember sonu crying- for birthday gifts he asked for, not studing,for mom not preparing his favourate food and not having a single friend in his colony till the age of 15th ( this made me recall how the kids in my colony used call me during picnics to compensate their money shortage and then after that isolate me. Avinash,joti,Pratik,vinod,pammi di and all SEE HOW MANY I GOT NOW!!).To that sonu his mom was his best friend in sharing the happiness to tensions of study and also the best partner for watching those crappy daily soaps. And now I see this Sourav a 20 yr old college going student.And these 5 years are much like a roler coaster ride of feels. From a hardcore studious guy who only saw that AIM IIT JEE 2009 on the white board of bansals, who cried  on each bad exam,to a lover boy and a failure in Jee 2010 –to a rude ,adamant ,stubborn,disrespectful to seniors and feelingless idiot in first yr-  To a guy who is in second yr . A guy who is still immature and did wrong things like “tasting” cigarette/vodka..and the guy who wrote poems ,blogs, loved love stories and read many indian author love stories  but have learned some lessons which sonu could have never at home.Now every word of pops and nanu seems so clear now.The hard life lessons like “listen everyone but do what you feel is correct”, that love is always a copyright for moms and you should not expect a third person or stranger to have same for you, being selfish is not bad till you are not hurting others,coz everything you do comes back to you someday( trust me this is not only for moral edu books, I have some serious examples from my life if you want), my pops ultimate words “happiness is not important inner joy is important”.For the last five years I think my friends know me much more than that of my mom
 But I think at this pace I will have much bed time stories and good suggestions for my kids .And will be there to make sure nothing ever hurts them not a broken arm ,bad dreams or broken heart……………. And will  proudly tell them
“when you are young everything feels like the end of world but its not,its just the beginning”……

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