Reasons

Biggest change when I came to college was that, to my every "why" there was an answer "have to".

"Why i have to solve this question by this method and not that".....have to
"why we have to write 20 pages of assignment when they too know it will be a copy"....have to
"why have to attend classes when i know books will be better than that Idiot".....have to
"why i have to do this/that"....have to..
And slowly "the why" disappeared like the sand taken away with wind and left with Have To engraved on the forehead.Though i struggled to digest this in beginning but its use  helped me fit in.

This "have to" bashed up my conscience so hard that even if the soul tries to unwrap "why" and think of having a swim in it,it gives huge agony as if the mind has accepted it to be too shallow.

And now the scenario within is changing so much that thins are in too topsy turvy
 ...as if 

Q:"why am i sleeping"
ans:.........................................(no answer,or sleep we will see tomorrow)
Q:why am i bunking class
ans:...........................................(no answer)
Q:what will the future be like"
ans:......................................................(no answer)
Q:what I am best at"
ans: ....................................................(no answer)

And there is no one to take the responsibility and everything will stumble upon me.

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